Bored
So bored
Cleaned
The kitchen
Then I went
On the
Computer
I'm still
Bored
I think
I'll clean our
Bathroom...
Something
Just growled
At me
I think I'll
Just leave
That dirty
For now

Hahaha
I can't
Help laughing
At all I've
Said
All I wished
And now that it
Is gone
I'll know
Better for
Another day
I'll remember
How I loved
Everything
But me
How long
It took
Me to open
My eyes
And see
I'ld been driving
Blind
How I thought
Life and Love
Hated me
But I really
Hated them
How I just
Ran every time
I saw a feeling
Coming into
My heart
How I lived in
Books so I
Could escape
Cause I could
Never get hurt
Inside their world
How I looked at the
Sky and wished
I could fly
But I never tried
But I'm going to
Try everyday
Until I get it right
Or die ;)

Life's not
So bad
When you
Realize
What you've
Got
It was
Never lost
You just
Couldn't
See it
For a
While
And now
That it's
Back in
View
You know
You were
A fool
For believing
You were
All alone
It's like
Those hills
On that
Road you
Took to
Avoid traffic
For a
While you
Can't see
What's coming
But it
Reappears
All in good
Time

In my hands
I never had
I almost did
But I let go
Afraid of
What it was
Always running
Never looking
At what I had
All along
Why did I
Give it all
Away
So that I
Could always
Say I've never
Known
Blame it on
Fate
And not my
Own
How did I
Let myself
Live without
Ever living
I must
I will
Push through
All my bull shit
Excuses
Because nothing
Hurts more
Than never
Knowing
How it could
Have been

If I know
You're no
Good
Then why
Do I still
Let you
Creep
In like
Some kind
Of snake
Tempting
Me to eat
The forbidden
Apple
You'll never
Be mine
I'll never
Be yours
And still
I lay
Awake
Hoping
You come
In and take
Me
Silly dreams
From silly
Girls
I'm sad
And self-pity
Never sat
Well with
Me
But letting
Go was
Always hard
Too
I've got to
Let go
Because I
Know you're
No good

Is it
So hard
To find
What you're
Looking for?
When you
Don't even
Know what
You're looking
For?
How about
When you
Know what
It is
But it
Won't let
You find
It?
Not even
Give you
A hint?
I just
Think that
Things should
Tell you
Why they
Run and
Hide, right?

It is sad
To say
You are
The heat
Inbetween
My thighs
You are
The rush
Of blood
Through
My veins
You are
The touch
I feel when
I am alone
You are
The beat
Of my heart
When it is
Still and hard
You are the
Pulse I feel
Down where
No one has
Been
And most of
All you are
The rip in
My heart
Where I thought
You would mend
And heal my
Broken heart
But you just looked
And ran
That is sad to say
I'm sad to say it
To know it

For three
Days
Three whole
Days
You were in
Me like
Poison
Working its
Way through
Me
Numb and hard
To breathe
But I didn't
Read the signs
I was having
To much fun
Thinking how
You'd save me
From being
Alone
But I didn't see
You were leaving
Me more and more
Each day
Until I looked around
And you were gone
That was when the
Poison took a crack
At my heart
Rushing in
To kill
I fell hard
I didn't know
What hit me
But I knew you
Were gone
And I finally saw
When someone bites
You
They don't just want
Your blood
The want your
Life

Was it wrong
To wish
You would
Just come
Over me
And take me
In like the
Air you breathe
Come so close
And let your
Body touch
Mine
Until
We became one
And in my dreams
How I knew
I wouldn't say
Stop
I wouldn't push
You away
But only pull
In closer
Pull you right
In
Because I've
Been yearning
For you
And when this
Dream is over
I hope I don't
Remember it
Like a nightmare

Here I am
Again
Holding on
To the ground
As you twirl
Around
Trying to pick
Me up and carry
Me off
Throwing me
Around
And dumping me
So I won't
Be found
I'm stuck no
Matter where
I go

Like candy
So sweet
Lucious and
Delcious in
My mouth
Then sour
quite tangy
Adventrous
I like it
So I don't
Spit it out
Then bitter
So bitter
Not a drop
Of sugar
In it
Oh how it
Changed
This candy
In my mouth
In just a few
Seconds

It was easy
To see
This could
Never be
But I
Ignored
Every sign
That warned
Me
Now I'm here
With all the
Flashing lights
Covered in wounds
I know will
Heal
Just wish I knew
How to say no
To you
So this didn't
Happen everytime
You tried to
Swoon me

My heart
Feels small
Compared to
It all
And when
I try to make
It bigger
It is just
Crushed
Down
Into compact
Size
The smaller
I let it get
The less
I feel
So numb
That I don't
Even cry
When I stub
My toe
I should have
Never let
You hold
My heart

So now
Have we
Disappeared
Into the photos
We've sent
Cause now
You aren't curious
You aren't in the
Dark
About what it
Looked like
Real mature
Real damn mature
Pussy ass bitch
I can't believe
I fell for you
Again

Put my brain
In a jar
Put my heart
On a shelf
Turn my pulse
On low
Let the blood
From my body
Drain down
The street
It will be easier
This way
So I don't have to
Think about you
So I don't have to
Feel how you hold
My heart
So I don't get
Excited when you call
So I don't feed you
Anymore of my blood

What is
Immaturity?
What is
this circle
We seem
To be
Going in?
Maybe
I'm getting
Dizzy
Seeing double
So I can't
See you're
Playing with
Me
So I can't
See you're
You just want
Something
A little less
Than what
I want
I don't think
You're ready
To take care
Of me
Your heart
Isn't where
Mine is
And I am finding
It hard to let
Go
Stop spinning
And just
Walk away

Two steps forward
Three back
One step to the right
Four to the left
Oh how I want you
But you twirl me
Around and I'm
Not tracing our
Steps
Not leaving bread
Crumbs to
Find my way back
But I can't help
Feel swept away
My heart beats
To the song we
Sway too
You pull me in
With that devilish
Smile
Whisper you want
Me to show you
My stars
And foolishly I
Ponder for a minute
Thinking I'm brave
If I shine for you
But then I remember
I'm not easy
And in this dance
I am the lady
So treat me that way

Late night
Late talk
May not
Be the best
For some reason
The moon
Makes me loony
I give more
Than I am taking
But I don't seem to
Notice
This game we play
In the dark
Who is in the lead
You or me?
Cause I can't see

Platonic
Was electric
Now it's
Old staic
On dryer
Sheets
Left on
The floor
From last
Week
Unclean sheets
I'll just throw
Them away
They don't
Even have that
Fresh scent

Push through
Tired lines
Push through
Tired waves
Push through
Tired spots
Push through
Tired routines
Push through
Tired days
Tired winds
Tired lies
Tired voices
Tired dreams
Tired wishes
Tired realities
Tired looks
Tired eyes
Tired minds
Tired breaths
Tired lives
Tired all
The time
Push through
Maybe it will
Be alright

Take one look
At the sky
You'll see
The truth
Take one look
At the rain
Falling so fine
Rinesing lies
From the streets
Take one look
At the gleaming moon
White and bright
Shining light on
The paths we take
Take a look at
The mountains
That stand tall
And strong
Never bending to
It all
Take a look
At my face
What lays behind?
Is it truth?

Conscious
Well aware
Of what is
Around me
I feel lost
Already
I don't want
To sugar coat
It with sour
Fizz you hand
Me
Why does no one
Understand how
I feel
When I say no
It's cause I've thought
I remembered
Things I can't
I won't let go
I've been shaped
I've molded my
Mind to look
And see who I am
Without intoxication
I can't control
And I guess that's
What it's all about
Control

Maybe it's hard
For me to see
Through coats
Of film
Left behind
By old memories
Maybe it's hard
For this summer
To be freah
Instead of stale
And still
Maybe it's hard
For this world
To turn without
A little love and
A little hurt
Maybe it's hard
For my words
To make it to
You
In the way I want
Them to
Maybe I've got to
Grow up
Live a little
Be reckless
Before I can
See what
Isn't a maybe

I lay
Restless
Hoping our
Conversation
Never ends
I can't sleep
And when I am
Talking to you
I don't want to
It's late
I shouldn't be
Saying these things
But I can't help it
You make me feel
This way
So brave
You make me smile
Without trying to
It's hard to believe
I haven't told you yet
But I bet you already
Know
And that makes me
Sad that you don't
Say anything
But I'll just pretend
This night
This flash of light
Is our time
To get it right
I'll pretend
It all ends
Well

Letter C
You are
Everywhere
Best friends
Possible boyfriends
Where I live
Where he lives
Is it just coincident
Or is fate saying
Something
And maybe the
Letter C is for
Crazy!

I listen
I look
I see
I feel
I know
This isn't
A game
But you
Still play
And I lose
I lost
Everytime
I want
But I won't
Get you
You handle
You amuse
Yourself
With me
And I see

I fill myself up
Fast
Like these
Trains that pass
Right by
And I warn
Myself of your
Words
Like these
Trains sierns
But I still
Get on the
Tracks hoping
You'll stop
For me

So I'll
Just pretend
Like none of
This happened
So I won't get hurt
Again
And I'll try to
Cry if nothing
Comes out
I'll just pretend
I'll just pretend

My body
Pulls toward
Your voice
So sweet
So deep
Let me fall
Right in
My heart
Lets you in
So lay down
With me
My dreams
Whisper your
Name
How I feel
When I hear it
Your hands on
Me
Your eyes on
Me
Taking me in
Deeper and deeper
Into you
I fall
My love is
For you

Doubt, it
Creeps in
Like sweet
Smoke from
Church
I hold out
For you
But am I fooling
Myself
Is it true
Is doubt right
Or should
I believe
You'll pull through

Call me
Again
I want to
Hear your
Voice again
Call me
Again
Into your
Bed
I want to
Lay there
And think of
Nothing else
Call me again
Let me know
You've been
Wanting me
Too

You suck me
Right in
Telling me
You just wanted
To check up
On me
Oh will you tell
Me next time
You're on the line
That you want me
Near you
You want me
To be yours
Sucking me in
With hopes and
Dreams
That I want
Desperately to
Come true

Here I am
Take me
Hold me
Love me
I am letting
You in
My whole
Heart waiting
For you to
Keep it warm
In your embrace
I wait for time
To catch me
Here I am
Take it
Or leave it

Masterfully
I peel
Away at
What lays
Behind
Digging
And digging
Until I get
To the fresh
Wound that
Will only bleed
For you

Up
And gone
With the
Wind
Flying
High
Carried
Away at
Just the
Right time
And I hope
I never see
It again

Getting
To know
You
Me
Takes time
Time I've
Got
You've got
Time
Right?

I wait
And I
Wait
Is it
True
Your
Signs
Lead me
On
But are
You waiting
On the
Other end

So you're
Calling
And I'm
Answering
That is a
Change
A good one
I love
It
Let it change
Today

Telling you
Would only
Aggravate
Me
You'll tease
Me
I know you
You love the
Game
Never the
Chase
And I'm worth
The chase
But you don't
See
You want a broken
Girl
Something you can
Own
Telling you
Won't change
A thing

What do you
Want
From me
I've given you
Everything
And still
You huant me
Will I always
Be the prize
Or do you truly
Want to keep
Me
Do you want me?

Cyberspace
You avoid
Me
And I laugh
Knowing I'm
Chasing
Nothing like
The real thing
But I want
Artificial
Love
Hoping it
Turns into
Reality