Time Lapse, Some Kind of Synapse Failure

Strangers say things we'd never expect
Familiar faces turn when we'd never expect
And we still expect the things to be
The same as they always were

Look in my eyes
Tell me you see
The same girl
You thought
You once knew
Tell me she's there
'Cause I can't find her
In this mirrors reflection

Strangers say things we'd never expect
Familiar faces turn when we'd never expect
And yet we want our expectations to be
Met just like they always were

Look into my face
Tell me it hasn't changed
Forming into a person
You don't know
Saying things
You never thought you'd hear
'Cause I can't hear what
She's saying anymore

Strangers say things we'd never expect
Familar faces turn when we'd never expect
And we yearn for expectations to be
Unhinged just like they always have been

Look into me
Tell me it's still me
This me you want
All the wonders
And all the flaws
Cuts and brusies
You've yet to greet
She could be all yours

Strangers say things we'd never expect
Familiar faces turn when we'd never expect
And we try so hard to figure out
Just what we expected all along

Look at me
Tell me I never changed
Did you ever expect me to?
A stranger to myself
I am the familiar face that turns
I am the stranger who's made you doubt
You don't know me anymore
So please face me and expect nothing less

Strangers say things we'd never expect
Familiar faces turn when we'd never expect
And you still expect things to be
No more different but they already are

Heavy Heads, Fumbling Hearts

We try so hard to find
The right words to say
And why wouldn't we
We only want what's best

Unfortunatley
There is no right thing
To say
To change
All the ways
This has gone
Awry

We try so hard to find
The right things to give
And why wouldn't we
We only want what's best

Sadly
There is nothing to give
When rivers have dried
All the way up
And we tried and tried
To find another
But only cried

We try so hard to find
The way we used to be
And why wouldn't we
We only want what's best

Regrettably
There is no where to hide
The binds have come undone
My time with you was fun
But I have moved on
Before I knew you were
Trying to catch up

We try so hard to find
The right way to say goodbye
And why wouldn't we
We only want what's best 

Too Soon To Tell

We haven't gotten too far
We haven't even left the park
We are just enjoying
Small moments that
Keep catching us
Unexpectedly

It's all happening
Quick
But where this goes
No one knows

We look into each others eyes
We look for more than just the usual
We are just enjoying
Each others company
The way you hold me is
Surprising

It's all happening
Fast
But where this ends
No one knows

We see there's room in this bed
We see there's room in our hearts
We are just enjoying
The warmth
The way we melt is
Bewildering

It's all happening
Suddenly
But where this goes
No one knows

We know some things are far
We know some things are near
We are just enjoying
Being here
The way it goes
Will have to stay a mystery

Two Rights Don't Make It Alright

And now I am here
In this place
Before I met you

Before everything seemed
Pointless
Redundant
Hopeless
Then I met you

I waited for you
For you to say
Something
Make a move
And let me know
You felt the same

And now I am here
In this place
Before I met you

Before everything was
Misguided
Misplaced
Misused
Then I had you

We came together
Together we stayed
And we found our own way
In this world
It all seemed easier
With you

And now I am here
In this place
Before I met you

Before everything had
Broken
Been stolen
Desolate
Then you held me

With time
We came to understand
Life's plan
Would make
Or break us
And we quickly learned

And now I am here
In this place
Before I met you

Before everything seemed
Set
Fixed
Sealed
Then you went away

We realized things
Don't always stay
And the rights we've made
Led us here
Whether we're alright
Is up to us

And now I am here
In this place
Before I met you

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Somewhere in the back
The back of my mind
I saw this unraveling
Unwinding down
To the last time
You would say
I love you
I like you
I miss you
I want you

Somewhere in the end
The end of all this
I could feel this
Decomposing
Underneath your silence
Nothing was left
Nothing to say
Nothing to do
Nothing after
Everything

Somewhere in the day
As I flew in clouds
Surrounding me in dreams
That once were
That once seemed
Real have now
Floated past me
The plane cutting through
Bringing me back down
Into reality

I always knew
In someway
We would come down
And go our seperate
Ways

Forecast for Hazed Dreams

Where dreams
Come and go
Some return
And some
Never were

Where they lay
Making up realities
Making up memories
Reminiscing
And feeling like
You don't know
Which would be
Better in real life

Where dreams
Come and go
Some happy
And some
Sad to be

Where they look
Into your soul
Into your heart
Mingling
And tangling
Up parts you
Had thought
You tied up

Where dreams
Come and go
Some blend
And some
Stain

Where they build
Off your worries
Off your wishes
Chiseling away
At the stone
To find if you
Were made of
More than sediment

Where dreams
Come and go
Some try to be real
And some
Are just nightmares

We hit and We Miss

You drink too much
And I'm too lonely
For this to work out
Targets up
And we both miss

Aiming for meaning
Aiming for comfort
Aiming for friendship
And we fail to recognize
How unaligned we are

You don't ask
And I don't tell
So we could only wonder
Where we'll land
Above all this

Aiming our sights
Aiming our heads
Aiming our hearts
And we fail to know
Where they lead

You don't believe
And I don't see
This tangled time
Getting knotted up
In expectations

Aiming your life
Aiming mine
Aiming in darkness
And we fail to feel
Where the other is

You can't know
And I can't begin
For this to be right
And so we both miss

Up and Out of this Atmosphere

Just like the night skies
The ones that sparkle so bright
Letting you know it will be alright
If only there wasn't that hole
In your heart
Now if only there wasn't that hole
In your heart

It rings twice in the night
As you look up
And wonder
If the darkness
Will ever come
Because city lights
Mask the stars
That guided you back
From the hole
In your heart

Just like the night skies
The ones that fall on your eyes
Letting you know to take cover
If only there wasn't that hole
In your heart
Now if only there wasn't that hole
In your heart

Looking up and down
The street
Following artificial lights
They shine brighter
Than the night sky
And you long
For depth
In woods
That feel more whole
Than city blocks
More than
Your heart

Just like the night skies
The ones that fall on your eyes
Giving you sight into your heart
If only there wasn't that hole
In your heart
Now if only there wasn't that hole
In your heart

Priceless

Something insightful. Something worthy of printing, reading, repeating, keeping. Something that could just as well be nothing but a compost pile for the earth to feed off of. It's still something. It's still small and not popular. It's insignificant in comparison to the million other things going on. But it's still something.

And what it means to be something isn't anything we don't already know. That is it is all in the eye of the beholder. It is what sells, makes the soul feel warm and fuzzy. It is what we like, hate, know, want to better understand. It's a combination of everything we learn from the time we can keep count of how many times we have fallen and succeeded.

Fearful of not meaning a thing, being lost upon this wide world and even wider space.  We all try fill the void and yet there isn't enough to fill the night.  So we wait for something to give, something to make all of this worth reading, worth feeling, worth seeing, worth reiterating.  Then maybe we can make sense of our lives, or at least make sense of the moments we feel stuck in.

Something thought provoking, something worth telling.  Something that rereading makes sense and is still relevant.  It's harder than it looks.  Searching my tongue for more words, searching yours to see if your ideas mesh with mine.  But in the end it can only come from one.

And what it means to be heard and understood is something we all fight for.  Unfortunately we are not all masters of taking turns and so cutting off people is the best way we learn to be heard.  Dog eat dog or eye for an eye, it is all the same when you realize the things you've said have only been half heard.

Being faithful doesn't insure you anything permanent, it just helps to keep you going if you aren't ever doubtful.  It creeps in whispering the worst things and looks for any kind of flicker in your eye.  Your words come and go wondering if you want them to stay, if they are good enough.  If they found a way to stay then maybe you could publish them and give them away.

Something meaningful, something to call your own.  Something worth keeping, something worth letting others read aloud.  Maybe if it was something worth hearing it would be priceless.

High Winds and Untied Feelings

If we were
Anything
Even for
A brief
Passing moment
Would you wait
And let me know

If we are
Anything
Even for
The time
Being
Would you wait
And hold on

If we were
To start
Even before
You knew
He was far
Would you try
And let me in

If we are
To start
Being honest
About all
Of this
Would you try
And let me see

If we were
Going
And never
Looking back
At what was
Would you still
Want me

If we are
More
Than just friends
The way I feel near you
And if you feel it too
Would you make
The first move

If we were
To be honest
About what is
Happening
Would it still
Blossom
Or will it blow away

Hollow Loniness

Your spending your nights alone
Searching for someone
To call

Feeling the long
And empty hall
Wishing you could
Find me

Your spending your nights alone
Searching for long term
Comfort

Feeling the day
And night
Without having someone
To hold

Your spending your night alone
Searching for someone
To know

Feeling tired
And longing
For someone
To love

Your spending your nights alone
Searching for someone
To fill you up

Feeling the hollowness
And loneliness
That eat you up
Inside

Your spending your days with me
Searching for a sign
If I will cover the void

Coming In and Coming Out

Waking in a dream
Did we meet
Or am I asleep

Underneath this
Thin layer
Of reality
And fantasy
I am running
From what
I do not know
But I keep on
Moving

Waking in a dream
Did we speak
Or am I asleep

Inside this
Warm bed
Of two
Bodies
I could feel you
Lurking just
Outside
Making a
Guest appearance

Waking in a dream
Did we touch
Or am I asleep

Over this
Night
Of deep talks
And deeper thoughts
I let you step up
To the door
And through the window
I could tell
I would let you in

Waking in a dream
Did we fall in
Or am I asleep

Wonderfully Terrible Timing

A second here
A second there
Where we were
Drifted near
The worm hole

And if you like
Me
Honestly
Know it is
Eagerly returned

An hour here
An hour there
Where we started off
Stares back through
The worm hole

And if you remember
Me
With fondness
Know it is
Dearly returned

A day here
A day there
Where we fell in
Sucking us in
The worm hole

And if you think of
Me
With love
Know it is
Sweetly returned

A week here
A week there
Where we once were
Begins to stretch
The worm hole

And if you see
Me
With wonder
Know it is
Respectfully returned

A month here
A month there
Where we understood
We were in
The worm hole

And if you doubted
Me
With hesitation
Know it was
Understandably returned

A year here
A year there
Where we tore through
That worm hole

And if you miss
Me
Know that I
Will always miss you 
For time was never
On our side

You're the Ugly Kind

Self doubt

Go away

You are such

A foolish waste

Of time

You pull me in

With whispered lies

That I believe are mine

But they don't ring true

And I only know this

Because I fact check you

Self doubt

Step off

You are not

As cool

As you thought

You try to hide under

The days to come

That I await dreadfully

But that won't work anymore

And I will show you up

Because I know who you are

Self doubt

Get a hobby

You are doing

No one

Any good

You setup a hoax

That is so transparent

I could almost miss it

But there is something missing

And I only know this

Because I've lived without your veil

Self doubt

Stay away

You can drown

In the loneliness

You've made

You linger like a stray

Waiting to be fed

How easily you find sustenance

But there's nothing left for you

And I will show you up

Because I am finally done with you

A Path Not Taken Is Still A Path

Here I am at the sign
Which way to go
What did that old man say
Down the road?

Here I am at the path
But I now see
How it splits
Just like he mentioned

Here I am at the choice
But which way to go
I could never choose
The old man only laughed

Here I am at the end
Of my wits
Feeling torn
The old man couldn't help me with that

Here I am stalling again
I wish at least
The wind would push me
He said that the air stays still here

Here I am waiting
For my heart
Or my brain to decide
But they are fighting again

Here I am and I wonder
If I will die here
Right on the spot
From all this anxiety

Here I am hoping for
A sign that reads
This is the right way
So don't look back

Here I am wondering
If I could ever go back
To a much simpler time
Where there are no forks

Here I am analyzing
Between right and left
Between yes and no
Between these two roads

An Awakening Daydream

Whatever became

Of the dreams

I once made

They always seemed

Etched into stone

And reflecting on them

I can see

I have somehow

Lost them all

To the whirlwind

Of society's ideas

What can be

And what cannot

Making me fearful

Of the words

I so desperately

Want

To use as the acrylics

To this canvas

It wouldn't be art

If there wasn't a struggle

Silly nonsense like this

Makes for self rejection

Believing in lies

And in fiction

These aren't the rules

They are just suggestions

Deflect all those worries

And all of the looks

You are able to make

Dreams a reality

Even if it means taking

All your life

And putting it in

A corner of the world

It is still your corner

Where others

Can see your dreams

Take a deep breath

And inflate

Into those deflated

Dreams

They will float

Once more

And find hearts

For homes

Kindling the fire

Of what is humanity

Marking one more

Strike of things

That have gone

Right in the world

Never doubt

That those words

Those dreams

Touched the sky

Miles of Endless Wonder

Just a suggestion

Just some advice

Never assume 

You are always right

There are things

You may not know

Things that will

Surprise you 

As you go

Go forth

Do not fret

There is knowledge

That lies ahead

And if you stop

To rest along the way

Take notice of

The beauty you 

Don't see everyday

Take some time

Take it well

Because it won't

Always be there

When you need

It the most

And when you are done

Let go of all that

Has burned

Go on

Do not stall

There are moments

You must feel

They will imprint deep

And if you let them pass

You may never know

What may have been

Or who you would've met

Just a suggestion

Just some advice

Living now

Is the only way out

Of this mess

So make all places home

Make new friends

And leave the bad ones alone

They don't know it all

Go forth

Don't be afraid

At the end they say

There is a tunnel

But maybe it is

Just the 6 foot drop

Into the hole

We all come across

At the end we are at rest