Neurons
Ions
Synapses
Chemicals
Imbalances
And her
Worlds
Tilting

Sideways
And frontways
Backwards
And forwards

Underneath
There's
Atoms
Trying to connect
To other
Atoms
But losing
With every
Journey
Because there's
No real
Way to go

I wanna know
What trust
Is

A lock and key

A balance
Of speech
And hearing

A ying and yang

A gut feeling

A proven knight
Or friend

A pact

A blood promise

A heated
Hate
I can taste in

My mouth

I hate you
I hate what
You took

You shook
My tree
Everything
Falling off
At in spook

Shock
I became
Naked in
Seconds
And shattered
In silence

I hate you
I hate what
You took

Now you're gone
And I'm walking
Around so confused
So desensitized
To my life
Nothing has joy
Everything has
A shadow
Behind it

I hate you
I hate what
You took

I was coming
Back from
Being numb
Believing
I could live
With some sunshine
But upon darkness
You came creeping in
Demanding it was
Our right
Your right

I hate you
I hate what
You took

But most of all
I hate myself
For ever laying
Sights on you

It was me
In that movie
Of a girl
Who lost her
Voice

I laid there
Tired
Being drawn
Out of a dream
Into a nightmare
So real

It was me
In that movie
Of a girl
Who fell apart
In bed

In a haze
My daze left
Me un-alert
He touched me
Sour & greasy
All I know
Is he was a walking
Bar
Toxins cuddling me
In the worst way

STOP
GO TO
SLEEP
IT'S JUST
A NIGHTMARE

You smiled
Because you thought
It'd soon be over

Just say no
Push him off

Just say no
Push him off

Just say no
Push him off

Just say no
Push him off

It's not your fault
That girl was you
That girl is you
It's not your fault

I laid there
Stupid
I wish I had
Screamed

'Cause when
I bit him
He thought
He was so good

I just wanted it
To be over
Laying there
Numbing everything
Inside of me
Pulling my clothes on
Like it was nothing

Then embracing him
I wanted him
To finish swallowing me
I wanted to disappear
Into him
After he took so much

This movie in
My head is playing
Over and over
In slow motion
The movies been made
And I once was that girl
But I know how it ends now
Her voice comes back

Chilling
At a show
I never
Paid for
These actors
On stage
Hold everyone
Captive
But me

Before the
Curtain call
I crept around
Like an invisible
Being
I saw
Ghosts of
Performers
Hovering
As broken
People tried
To stuff them
Back in
Trying to
Cake on makeup
Into their cracks
Where they
Kept escaping

Tired and lonesome
The summoned
These lost souls
Into a pretty shell
Once more

And as the lights
Came on
They would shine
Illuminated
In everyone's
Projection
Of inner turmoil
Yes these actors
Basked in the
Audiences desires
And showed them
Just how to live

The show must go on