I don't want to sound
depressing
but these are the
words that
I feel fit best
I don't wish for
anyone one to
feel sorry
I just want to
write
what I think

I rant and I rave
and nothing
changes
but in my eyes
my heart feel
lighter
and I feel freerer
Not every thought weighs
me down when
I rant and rave

I want every word
to mean something
I want every conversation
to be real
I want to feel fullfilled
and not ache this
way
I sound like I am selfish
and I don't know
any other way

She stared blankly into the sky; it was a clear, crisp day. This day was different for some reason; maybe it was the warm breeze or the song of blue jays. But whatever the reason, it was nice. She didn’t have a care in the world. No problems, no drama, life was good. And for a while, it was. She had just gotten promoted, had become involved in a relationship, but suddenly the crisp air became stale. And the nice warm breeze became a cold bitter old woman, the kind that yell at you for stepping on their lawn. She tried to pull her little coat over her face, but the wind broke through the woven holes. The sky became a dark gray; the sun was covered by the heavy smoke. Shadows were cast around every corner, and the dead silence became eerie. She was just about to pull out her key, when a strange man came up behind her. He reeked of garbage and fish. She would have mistaken him for a bum, if it was not for his golden watch that wrapped around his stained wrists. He stood there breathing in a hard breath, as if at any moment it would stop. She stood there both in fear and confusion. She figured that she should gather up the courage to ask the man what he wanted. But before she could even think of what to say he vanished; just as she blinked. In terror she ripped the door open hoping to be safe in her own home. But she wasn’t. For the next five years, the man continually showed up in her everyday life. Every where she went, he was there. Then one day she received a phone call regarding of her father’s death. She replied that she didn’t have a father. The lady on the other side of the phone assured her that it was her father and told her to come and identify him. She did so to only prove the stuck up women it wasn’t her father. But when she arrived, she saw the same man that had been following her all those years. She asked the woman how this could possibly her father. The women replied that the man gave her a watch and a phone number. He told her to call the number and show his daughter the watch. The woman did so, she looked on the back of the watch and it was engraved with her birthday. Then the woman handed her a paper that said all of his money was left for her. On the bottom of the paper the total amount was 5 million dollars.

Tell me why I feel this way

why do I feel lost and stuck
when I know that caring
loving people
surrond me
I always find
myself unhappy
though I have everything
I need
I know it is selfish
to feel the way I do
but I do
I don't know to stop
I want all to be well
to smile a real smile
to laugh a real laugh
to cry a real cry
but this wall
that seperates me
from all reality
gives that allusion
Why do I feel this way
Tell me!